Confidence is sexy,

Arrogance is not sexy,

but it can fool you

if you don’t know the difference.

if you can’t tell the difference,

we can talk and I can help explain the difference

if you refuse to see the difference,

there is nothing I can do for you.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled Friday!

People want to talk about how this is human nature or that is human nature.

Lots of actions and traits are natural, lots are learned and all can be both natural and learned.For example it is my belief that human beings are naturally selfish, and that we are taught to share as we grow up.Yet at the same time experience and education can teach us to be selfish.

So what does this have to do with blogs?Well I’m glad you asked…what? You didn’t ask? Oh sorry….I am just going to ramble then, it is my blog after all I get to do that.

Some rules about reading blogs…

 *video update* Please click the video below then read the rest of the blog (thanks Heidi!) 

A persons blog is about them, not you…it is their house not yours.They are ‘letting’ you in. If someone invites you to their blog or you find it through surfing the net remember this; You have to choose to go to that blog and read, no one forces you to go, no one twists your arm and says “read this”. Reading it, is a choice your choice. If it’s someone you KNOW, then you CHOOSE to be nosy about their life. For friends, it’s okay, because it’s a way of keeping “in touch” especially with the day to day lives of people who may be states or even countries away from each other … for others….it’s a way of looking for things to point fingers at or find fault with the writer or the people they are writing about. The simple truth is, most likely whichever you are looking for is what you’ll find. If you’re looking because you want to keep up with the life of a friend, then you’ll keep up. If you are looking to find fault and point fingers at someone then you will find reason to do that. It just depends on what you are looking for.

Often when someone reads a blog, good or bad, that could possibly be about them, or a person or group of people they know they will think it IS about them! While that may not be human nature…it certainly seems to be blog nature.

Why??

I don’t know, it just seems that way.

It could be a want or need to be the most loved/hated person in that bloggers life. “ I know this is about me I’m the most important person in Sonia’s life!”

A prodigious sense of self importance – “It’s all about me! I know they only talk about me”

A personal self esteem problem – “Oh I know who this is about, because it couldn’t be about me!”

A guilty conscience – “Oh I think that may be me, I did something like that! Are they talking about me, I hope they aren’t talking about me, I bet they are talking about me!”

A suspicious mind – “Ah-ha! I know what that’s about, I knew it was him!”

Perhaps they are bored or unhappy in their own life and thinking this way makes their life “exciting” – “I can’t believe she did that, I’m so glad I’m not that ‘type’ of person…ha!”

It could be any number of things. I’m not sure. But it’s not just an isolated issue, its real and it happens all the time…

“So and so is mad at me!See what he/she wrote on his blog? Then after that has gone around 4 times, someone asks the blogger and the blogger says…um no I was pissed at someone at work. I’m sorry I hurt person “X’s” feelings, tell them I’m not angry with them.

Or – “So and so loves me! They said so on their blog!” Then they send flowers to that blogger and get their hopes all up. And it turns out that no, that blogger is not attracted to them, but to the person they sat next to that night they all went out for drinks.

Right or not, that’s just how it is.

The problem isn’t that people think the blog might be about them or their friend.It’s when, instead of emailing and asking, they just ASSUME it IS about them or their friends and get their hopes up or get offended.

And here is another thing – USUALLY it isn’t about YOU.It is about US!That’s why we have a blog (if it was about “you” then it would be on YOUR blog. ).It’s our place to say what we want.It isn’t about anyone but the blogger. If it’s a post about how we like Cheerio’s then basically all we are doing is shouting to the world – HEY I LIKE CHEERIO’S! If someone or something has upset us, and we post something, for the most part, it is posted because we are upset and want to let off a little steam.. or “vent” at no one in particular, just at the world in general.

Remember usually a blog isn’t about the reader, but about the writer. And if the blog is nonspecific in its “target” then unless you KNOW for a FACT what the writer is talking about, (not what you think, or even think you know, but KNOW that you know) then I’d venture to say that roughly 90% of the time you’ll probably be wrong. (I know I usually am)

Blogs aren’t usually a puzzle that the world should try and figure out…they are just our way of saying… “Hey look at this!”“Hey this is what I did this week/weekend!”“Hey this is how I feel right now!”“Hey something happened and I’m pissed off!”Blah…… blah…… blah…

Sorry folks I’m not the best person for putting thoughts to paper (or pixel) and making it understandable to everyone. But then its my blog so it is only REALLY important that its understandable by me. if you can think of any other blogging rules of thumb that apply feel free to comment. – Oh and speaking “Ulrich-ise” will help in reading this!