Do Something!   It is a better choice than doing nothing.

Because I like Funny -

Currently my “Favorite joke”

Funny Emails – “Here” (takes you off site)

11/30/07 (Credit to Missy)

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8 . Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

11/15/07 (Credit to Rebecca)

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.’

‘Oh, I understand,’ said the visitor. ‘A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.’

‘No.’ said the Director, ‘A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?’

———————-

This if for Talina: Arrrrr

————Taken from “Conrad” 10/1/07 ————-

POLITE WAY TO PEE

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

“I would say I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite. What
about you Peter, how would you say it?”

Peter said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word
‘bathroom’ at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?

“I would say: “Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I
have to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get to meet after dinner.”

The teacher fainted.